Extravagant Love

To be quite vulnerable … the past six weeks have been exceptionally difficult, not just physically but also emotionally. Since my last blog I’ve had to powerlessly watch my body decline even more and lose the ability to do things that I once could do with ease. Days of actively doing everything my doctors have ordered and still seeing no signs of improvements have left me frustrated and it’s been hard not to become discouraged. Navigating the healthcare system through unexpected situations to obtain necessary approvals, authorizations and doctor referrals to receive treatment and care has been nothing but stressful and overwhelming.

For a while I tried hard day after day to be strong, push through and remain HOPEFUL that things truly would turn a corner and get better. However this was draining and I reached a breaking point. I never felt so HELPLESS. Emotions came full force. My heart was torn between wanting to give up, yet knowing I needed (and deep, deep down wanted) to keep fighting because God still has a plan and purpose for my life.

Will I keep trusting Him, and believing His promises?

How could a God of love allow such pain in life?

If this is how God chooses to love me, do I really want to keep trusting Him?

I will never fully understand God’s unconditional love for me, but even in the midst of the difficulties, I choose to keep trusting Him. In doing so, He has revealed Himself to me in magnificent ways. Even in the midst of pain. Even when I have my doubts and wonder why.

You see … Jesus himself understood pain. Not only did He show compassion in the midst of every human affliction that He encountered, but He himself chose to endure incredible suffering for our sake by dying on the cross.  It is through Jesus and His actions, that God’s love for us is revealed (John 17:26; 1 John 4-9-10).

We live in a broken world and the pain that is experienced is a result of sin. While God has allowed suffering in this world, we can be reminded of 1 John 4:8 that says, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” Love is a fundamental nature of who God is. As a child of God, I am loved with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). God’s love for me is extravagant and He has extended His grace toward me in giving me way more than I could ever deserve.

God has revealed His love for me in tangible ways these past few weeks, and for that I am incredibly grateful. I have been overwhelmed by emotions at times as I reflect on how He has brought people into my life to help remind me and provide glimpses of His unstoppable love for me. God has wrapped His loving arms around me, and been holding me close.

God’s love is extravagant. While life has been trying for me much of this year, the ways that Father has shown up and been working, has left me in awe, time and time again. One of those ways, is how in the midst of roadblocks and unforeseen circumstances, God continued to opened doors and after weeks of painful waiting, I received approval to start weekly IVIG treatments this past week! This has been a huge answer to prayer.

Today, as I’m in the middle of my first IVIG treatment, could I ask you to pray with me that these infusion treatments would not cause adverse effects, but instead help to provide improvements to my physical body so that I can slowly regain my life back?

I trust that even as God as helped to quiet my hurting heart by remaining near and allowing me to tangibly experience His love and presence in my life, that He would do the same for you too.